busy busy week.

this week was depressing as ever -.- balloons, roses, chocolates, it was terrible. nah. its just like. everything was so sad this week and i honestly feel like it was nobodies good week. as in, we all had a bad, stressful week. im so irritated. i just wish i could redo this new year. but obviously, i cant. so idk i guess i just have to start from today and hope for the best. but like i dont want to. i want to redo this new year, so i can make different choices with certain things, and do different things. i know they say everything happens for a reason, but i believe that things would be better if i could redo it. seriously. moving on to why my week was bad again. well for one, my crush didnt ask me to be my valentine, when he said "i might ask you" and he sweet talked me and all. like seriously dude. you make me all excited and then bam. you do something to just make me hate you. so he told me he was guna ask me, and all that. and then, come monday, roxi tells me she gota tell me something, even though she knows she isnt supposed to. then i was like, ok (: nothing can make me sad anyway because he's going to ask me and im not guna let anything ruin today ^__^ and then she tells me that he told her,"im just going to ask heighlee b/c (_thegirlhelikes_) is too pretty." i just laughed and smiled and was like i dont care its ok (: but then when i thought about it, idk. i felt like a second choice, and i felt used. then to make it worse, i had him in all my classes that day. so i had him 1st period. i could barely look at him... like. i felt like i shouldnt because if i did, i had a feeling i'd just break down and start crying. how could he? and if you dont understand how crushed i was, think of it this way. you find out your crush was going to ask you out . your happy and all and your having a good day waiting for him to ask, almost sure he's going to. then your friend tells you he's just going to ask you because he cant have what he really wants. and he says shes too pretty, which he's technically calling you a downgrade of her. not pretty, average, probably even ugly. how would you feel? idk. so i tried not to think of it in 1st period. but then during recess, yazmeen reminds me how its ok i dont have a valentine and all. then when i thought about it, i just starting crying, and crying, and i couldnt stop. i felt like i've just held it in so long. i felt like heartbroken..  moving on though, i ignored him, couldnt even look him in the eye, snobbed him. i was just pissed. skipping to conclusion though, i didnt get asked by him. i didnt have a valentine. i did the right thing, told him to just build the gutts and ask who he really wanted.  he didnt know i knew what roxi told him. so yeah. he had no idea i cried about it. i dont even think he knows i like him. but yeah. along with my heart being broken, i had to encourage him to ask her. witness him asking her. her saying yes. only because i know he'd be happy with her, so yeah. but whatever. its just so. eh. i dont even want to think about it. i also had to manage to have a fake smile on the whole week. because i really wanted it to be a good one. but it was actually the worse. i was like a big emotional wreck. i was stressed because all our projects and homework assignments. and it was just a bad week. in leadership it was bad and stressful also. macky let savannah borrow her vest, and she never got it back. savannah still didnt find it, and now we are all screwed. its just another problem added to the many things i have on my "what to worry about, and why your stressed" list. i seriously had a enough. like. i know, this is my billionth time saying this. but im done. im not taking anymore crap. i need to get it together.. hopefully i can . im going to try, but idk what the chances of being successful is. wish me luck, and have a good week . bye.